Unlock the Secret to Emotional Triage: Catryn Baker’s Revolutionary Approach

[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_01]: Entertainment Insights

[00:00:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Don't take life too seriously.

[00:00:06] [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to Brainsky Unleashed.

[00:00:10] [SPEAKER_01]: Greetings and salutations to my faithful listeners and watchers, and thank you so much for joining

[00:00:16] [SPEAKER_01]: me once again for Brainsky Unleashed.

[00:00:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Before we dive into today's episode, I have to say it's so critically important for

[00:00:24] [SPEAKER_01]: you to do the one thing you should have done by now, and if you haven't, you

[00:00:27] [SPEAKER_01]: are guilty as charged.

[00:00:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Hit the subscribe button.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Leave 5 star reviews.

[00:00:33] [SPEAKER_01]: 5 stars are only acceptable, anything less, leave that for somebody else.

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Alright, so today we have someone very special in the program, we have Catryn Becker.

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_01]: She is the CEO of Optimize We.

[00:00:44] [SPEAKER_01]: She is all about the feng shui of life, finding the balance of being a human being

[00:00:50] [SPEAKER_01]: and getting the most out of your life.

[00:00:52] [SPEAKER_01]: She does things like retreats, she coaches, she counsels.

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_01]: She's a mom, she's a doer, she's on the go.

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_01]: She's just an awesome person and she's on the program.

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the program.

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much.

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_00]: That was such a lovely introduction.

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_01]: Thanks.

[00:01:11] [SPEAKER_01]: I did that completely unrehearsed, can you tell?

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, no couches, counseling, not couches.

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Alright, so I love it.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk real quick about what is Optimize We.

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_01]: It's a service that you provide, what is it?

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_00]: So first let's go into the name of what it means.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_00]: What does it mean?

[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I see it as a place of kind of the nexus between business coaching and life coaching.

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Because I really don't like when we put things into silos and separate things out

[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00]: when we are a full human being.

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_00]: I realize there's parts where we need to focus on things, but we can't exclude

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_00]: looking at the whole for the sum of its parts.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_00]: And so there's a lot of times in the life coaching and business coaching space

[00:02:01] [SPEAKER_00]: where the coaches kind of make you feel like you've done something wrong or you're broken

[00:02:05] [SPEAKER_00]: or there's just not enoughness of you.

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00]: And so I don't ever come from that place because I think we're always in us.

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_00]: We just sometimes have programmings in our brains that tell us otherwise.

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_00]: So about optimizing is really where I focus from.

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_00]: And I do come from an engineering background.

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I use a lot of physics analogies because it just makes sense to me.

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes it helps other people to understand things as well.

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_00]: But it's really about just optimizing where we are.

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of having to start from scratch, you've got all the basic pieces there.

[00:02:38] [SPEAKER_00]: We just need to make some slight tweaks and adjustments.

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_00]: And it's not how we do it together.

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_00]: You're not.

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_01]: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, you just you just like just glazed by something right there.

[00:02:53] [SPEAKER_01]: And I need to dig a little bit.

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_01]: When you say that you have all the pieces that are there,

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_01]: what do you mean by that?

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_01]: Because I don't know if many of us have half the pieces we need

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_01]: and others probably have an overabundance of pieces.

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_01]: So what kind of pieces are we talking about?

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_01]: What does that mean that they're all there?

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I think our society teaches us that we're not enough.

[00:03:15] [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot out there.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_00]: If you look at media, especially as a woman,

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_00]: which is generally the audience that I serve,

[00:03:22] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, you look at any media ad of for beauty products,

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_00]: for fitness products,

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_00]: it's always saying that there's something wrong with you.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_00]: There's not enough of what you have.

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_00]: And my philosophy is that everything has been given to us from the start.

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, we are born perfect.

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_00]: And it's as we're living our lives and things are being thrown at us

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_00]: and we don't matter expectations and burdens and regrets and fears,

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_00]: anxiety, stress, all of those things kind of weighs down

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_00]: and teach us that we're not actually enough as we are.

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_00]: So my thought is that it's all there.

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_00]: We just need to uncover some of it and remember more about who we are

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_00]: that is what makes us perfect and unique

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_00]: and special and needing to be here on this planet.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_01]: OK, but you didn't answer my question.

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_01]: What are the pieces?

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_01]: What pieces are we talking about?

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_00]: The pieces, the pieces that make you, your personality, your emotions,

[00:04:16] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, your tributes and attributes

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_00]: and things that are uniquely to you

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_00]: and how they come together and experiences and skills and talents.

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Those are all the pieces of us.

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you. I appreciate that.

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_01]: That defines it a little bit more.

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Of course.

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Continue.

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00]: My pleasure.

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_01]: All right.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know where I left off.

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, you're just talking about what you do and, you know,

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_01]: you have all the pieces that you need and kind of focusing on that

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_01]: and optimizing what you currently have.

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_00]: And so I do that by designing and implementing wellness programs,

[00:04:54] [SPEAKER_00]: typically for women and as individuals and women who are in charge of teams

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_00]: and helping them to bring them together in a way that can be more of a holistic viewpoint of it.

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, we talk a lot about mental wellness

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_00]: and I think that's a bit of a misnomer actually because mental and emotional are not the same thing.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_00]: They are two different aspects of it.

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, mental is the conscious thinking.

[00:05:19] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, when we say, hey, I want to think this thought, you know, that's more mental.

[00:05:24] [SPEAKER_00]: That's more frontal cortex activity.

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_00]: But the emotional part is coming from our limbic system

[00:05:30] [SPEAKER_00]: and it's being driven a lot by our subconscious programs and more reptilian part of our brain.

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_00]: So it's about looking at those holistically and optimizing them as a whole.

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_01]: And so you create programs to do this and then you teach them to your clients?

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, pretty much.

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_00]: It's coming from a big source of information.

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's really common in life coaching where someone will learn one technique

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_00]: and they think it's the end all be all technique.

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that we're given everything because we need it all

[00:06:10] [SPEAKER_00]: and it's how we need it, when we need it, different times that we need it.

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And so I like to use the analogy of when we're transplanting something.

[00:06:18] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, say you've got a rose bush in your garden and you want to transplant it.

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_00]: If you only dig at one side, you only use one technique, one modality

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_00]: that you're never going to be successful in getting it around.

[00:06:29] [SPEAKER_00]: You need a whole 360 view of things to be able to completely transplant

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_00]: whatever you're trying to change and move within your garden.

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so then ideally you help women, which I am not a woman,

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_01]: but for today because of gender fluidity in modern times I will identify as a woman.

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_01]: Therefore, you must call me she her for today.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_01]: But I will change my identity tomorrow because that is what fluidity is.

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Not that I'm saying anything controversial.

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_01]: So let us say that I come to you as a woman, as I now am,

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_01]: and I feel like my parts are not whole and I want to improve my life.

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_01]: How does that work?

[00:07:14] [SPEAKER_01]: Where would you start with a woman like me?

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_00]: With a woman like you?

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_00]: That's a fun sentence to say, one you probably don't hear very often.

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_00]: It's very similar to triage concepts that you'd see in the medical system.

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Where is the bleeding?

[00:07:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Where is the problem that's right now that's most prominent?

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_00]: And we address that first before we can look at anything else.

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_00]: So it's understanding where that person is and sometimes it's just removing stress.

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_00]: It can be as simple as I assign a poll work

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_00]: and sometimes it's going to get a massage and saying,

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_00]: okay, you have to make time to go get a massage for yourself

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_00]: and have that kind of triage piece.

[00:08:00] [SPEAKER_00]: We have to stop the bleeding.

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_00]: We have to stop the stress.

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_00]: We have to stop whatever it is.

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_00]: And then for other people, they know exactly what it is.

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_00]: They're ready to dive really deep into it.

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_00]: They don't want to mess around with having a massage or a pedicure

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_00]: or anything else like that.

[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And we get straight into some energetic work.

[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_00]: And so when I say energetic work, it's kind of a broad term,

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_00]: but just to understand our physiology,

[00:08:27] [SPEAKER_00]: we think things start with an emotion,

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_00]: but there's usually some sort of external stimulus that causes a process in our brain

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_00]: to release peptides and amino acids that are the basis of our emotions.

[00:08:42] [SPEAKER_00]: So there's a physical component that happens then causes us to feel the emotions that we feel.

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00]: And our brains are actually, they're kind of lazy.

[00:08:53] [SPEAKER_00]: They really like to create routines and habits

[00:08:56] [SPEAKER_00]: so that they're not having to think of things.

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Because if you think about all of the stimulus

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_00]: that our brain is experiencing in any one moment, it's quite vast.

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Like here I am looking at the camera having this conversation with you,

[00:09:07] [SPEAKER_00]: but there's a part of my brain that knows I'm sitting in a chair

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_00]: that knows that the ceiling fan is on

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_00]: that can hear my children in the other room talking to one another.

[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_00]: We're aware of all of those things when we put our focus on it,

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_00]: but I can also just be in this moment with you.

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_00]: And so when we have certain things that we do over and over again,

[00:09:25] [SPEAKER_00]: our brain's like, got it, this is the routine.

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_00]: So when this external thing happens,

[00:09:30] [SPEAKER_00]: these are the peptides and amino acid chains that I released

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_00]: that then go to form this emotion.

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_00]: And then when you feel this emotion, you act a certain way.

[00:09:38] [SPEAKER_00]: And so we can get really caught up in those patterns.

[00:09:40] [SPEAKER_00]: And so I come in and kind of snip that process from happening

[00:09:45] [SPEAKER_00]: so that it's not auto generating those peptide chains,

[00:09:48] [SPEAKER_00]: so that there's not a connection that is auto formed between those two things.

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_00]: So speak to me woman to woman for a moment.

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_01]: Just call me beard lady.

[00:10:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Now I come to you because my marriage is rough.

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_01]: I fight with my husband.

[00:10:11] [SPEAKER_01]: The guy's a complete schmuck.

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_01]: He shows up late every night and asks where his dinner is.

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I've got two kids who drive me crazy.

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_01]: They're teenagers,

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_01]: and I've got a job that stresses me out because I work for another schmuck.

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_01]: And men are bad and you and I are women,

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_01]: so we can bond on this level, obviously.

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_01]: Obviously.

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_01]: You also offer retreats.

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_01]: Now what is the true benefit of retreat versus just trying to help me go through

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_01]: what already sounds like a very busy life?

[00:10:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Why should I even look at a retreat?

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Albeit as a woman,

[00:10:53] [SPEAKER_01]: I love the idea of getting to hang out with such wonderful other women

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_01]: and do things only women related.

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_01]: But you know, I mean, life is very busy and I can't do that.

[00:11:04] [SPEAKER_01]: So it helped me understand why that's more important

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_01]: and the why behind it.

[00:11:10] [SPEAKER_01]: I know naturally as a woman, of course, that it's important,

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_01]: but why is it important?

[00:11:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, it's the same thing as there are women like you and I

[00:11:20] [SPEAKER_00]: that will go make time on a monthly basis for a pedicure or a massage

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_00]: or a hair appointment.

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_00]: You know that that's a dedicated time on a regular frequency that we do,

[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_00]: that it's something that we're doing for ourselves.

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Right. So that's working with someone on a week to week, month to month basis

[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_00]: that we're coming in there for an hour doing the work

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_00]: and that moves us to the next place and to the next place and to the next place.

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Versus a retreat, it's like a vacation, you know,

[00:11:50] [SPEAKER_00]: where you feel so stressed out and you take all of that time to go

[00:11:54] [SPEAKER_00]: and spend it all at once.

[00:11:56] [SPEAKER_00]: So at a retreat, you know, you're spending 16, 21 hours

[00:12:01] [SPEAKER_00]: where you've got this time together.

[00:12:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Versus if you spent, you know, six months with me.

[00:12:06] [SPEAKER_00]: So it's how you want to spend your time and how if you're ready to go deep quickly.

[00:12:11] [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's really just dependent on people's personality.

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And there's people that do both where they want the weekly maintenance

[00:12:19] [SPEAKER_00]: of the emotional hygiene is kind of a way to think about it.

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, clearing up the things that build up of,

[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_00]: oh my gosh, why can my husband not put down the toilet seat?

[00:12:30] [SPEAKER_00]: As a woman, I know you understand the struggle.

[00:12:33] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I totally get it.

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_01]: It is so frustrating and so rude.

[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, when they use the toilet paper

[00:12:40] [SPEAKER_01]: and they have the butt hair and they get the little chippy things on it,

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_01]: it's just so frustrating. It's terrible.

[00:12:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, love having girl talk with you.

[00:12:49] [SPEAKER_01]: Totally.

[00:12:52] [SPEAKER_00]: So it's different timing whether you can, you know,

[00:12:55] [SPEAKER_00]: for some people just spending an hour every week is more of a struggle.

[00:13:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Whereas saying, hey, for this weekend, I'm going to be gone.

[00:13:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Husband, you're in charge of our two wonderful children that stress me completely out.

[00:13:10] [SPEAKER_00]: And there is kind of something nice about, you know,

[00:13:14] [SPEAKER_00]: especially for the woman who feels like she's doing so much of the household

[00:13:18] [SPEAKER_00]: to be able to leave and remove herself from that

[00:13:22] [SPEAKER_00]: and to have her husband understand what it's like for her life.

[00:13:29] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, there comes back to a little bit more understanding of like,

[00:13:31] [SPEAKER_00]: wow, I didn't realize you did all of these things.

[00:13:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:13:35] [SPEAKER_00]: And some gratitude comes from that of like, thank you for taking this on.

[00:13:38] [SPEAKER_00]: She feels worse.

[00:13:39] [SPEAKER_00]: And so she's already coming back from a less stressed place.

[00:13:42] [SPEAKER_00]: And there can be a lot of healing in the relationship that comes from results of that.

[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly. I mean, that prick better recognize. I'm just saying.

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:13:51] [SPEAKER_01]: So in understanding how you handle these retreats,

[00:13:57] [SPEAKER_01]: let's imagine that I am not a very open woman.

[00:14:04] [SPEAKER_01]: I am a woman who kind of likes to keep to herself.

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_01]: And these retreats typically, you pair them up with someone so they'd have a roommate.

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm the more antisocial woman.

[00:14:16] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, do I still fit into this concept?

[00:14:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you know, the things that freak me out would be someone who snores or somebody who farts in bed when I'm trying to sleep.

[00:14:25] [SPEAKER_00]: But you don't do that as a woman.

[00:14:27] [SPEAKER_01]: You should know.

[00:14:27] [SPEAKER_01]: Or has been. Oh, but because I've been in women's rooms and I understand that the misconception is that we don't.

[00:14:32] [SPEAKER_01]: But let's be honest, we do.

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_00]: You can't be going around telling lies.

[00:14:37] [SPEAKER_00]: That is part of the woman code.

[00:14:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Tell me you don't score.

[00:14:40] [SPEAKER_00]: We don't care.

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_01]: So I mean, you know, if how does it work though if you're on a retreat and you don't want a roommate because you need your space because you're going on a retreat to get space,

[00:14:58] [SPEAKER_01]: but you're surrounded by other women, even though you love the fact that they're women because you could kind of women up much like we're doing.

[00:15:04] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:15:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that is a possibility that there can be sharing.

[00:15:08] [SPEAKER_00]: But there's a bit of uncomfortableness that's part of being in a retreat.

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_00]: That you need to take yourself out and expand a little bit.

[00:15:17] [SPEAKER_00]: We do have options for people that are absolutely not ready for that to have a private room.

[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_01]: OK, because I need a private room.

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_01]: I need my space.

[00:15:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. And we get that.

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_00]: And that's, you know, that's part of it.

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_00]: But there's also a lot of sisterhood that comes through going through these kind of experiences together.

[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_00]: And no one's ever forced to share.

[00:15:39] [SPEAKER_00]: So there's a lot of time to be introspective.

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of time to share opportunities to share with the group and opportunities to share with just maybe the one or two people that you connect with.

[00:15:48] [SPEAKER_00]: But we leave the structure of it so that it serves everyone at those different places that they're at and where they're naturally comfortable

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_00]: so that it's really beneficial for them and not stressful.

[00:16:01] [SPEAKER_00]: That's the whole point. This is not be stressed.

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Right, exactly.

[00:16:04] [SPEAKER_01]: And so let's get down to the most important part for me as a woman who is ravenous all the time, which is let's talk about food.

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_01]: What you got?

[00:16:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. I love food.

[00:16:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I think food is such an important part of how we connect.

[00:16:23] [SPEAKER_00]: There's so much history there.

[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I think every single person probably has a meal that has an emotional connection.

[00:16:30] [SPEAKER_00]: There's some sort of memory attached to that.

[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_00]: So it's I love coming at it from the food aspect.

[00:16:36] [SPEAKER_00]: But what's great about our retreats is that my husband is actually a professionally trained chef.

[00:16:42] [SPEAKER_00]: He's classically trained French chef.

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_00]: He has his Italian wine sommelier certification, so he provides all of the food so that I don't have to focus on that.

[00:16:54] [SPEAKER_00]: But he can be working and pouring into people in his way, which is through food and bringing in that aspect to it.

[00:17:02] [SPEAKER_00]: And something that's really important to me is good, healthy food can be very delicious and being able to show people that versus, you know, sometimes when we go to these women retreats, it's like just a salad or just a green juice, which has its place.

[00:17:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Those are wonderful things.

[00:17:23] [SPEAKER_00]: But you don't want to retreat. That's only that.

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_00]: So it's really focusing on how are we nourishing ourselves.

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_00]: So we make sure that we pick really nourishing, delicious meals that can fit everyone's dietary needs because I know the chef and I know he knows how to cook for that kind of stuff.

[00:17:44] [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm ready to pack my bags and go spend girl time together.

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Let's go, girlfriend.

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_01]: So let's let's transition then, because obviously you are a busy mom and you try and help others.

[00:18:04] [SPEAKER_01]: What do you do to keep your head on your shoulders?

[00:18:08] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, if you're going to help other people, you've got to be able to, you know, be helped yourself and you got to be able to be strong.

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, the weak can't really help the weak.

[00:18:18] [SPEAKER_01]: The strong can help the weak.

[00:18:21] [SPEAKER_01]: But weak helping the weak doesn't really produce strong results.

[00:18:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Do you know what I mean?

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. Absolutely.

[00:18:26] [SPEAKER_00]: And it's been something that I really had to learn.

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I have a lot of empathy and very empathetic person.

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_00]: And so when I was transitioning from engineering into doing this work, it's it was interesting to find the balance because I can remember when I was getting my certification to get the certification that I have.

[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I needed to do a hundred sessions with different 100 different people that was part of the certification process.

[00:18:54] [SPEAKER_00]: And so I was so ready to go and like, yes, let's get this done.

[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_00]: So on weekends, I would just open up my calendar and take as many sessions as I could.

[00:19:06] [SPEAKER_00]: And there was one Saturday in particular where I had done seven hour long sessions back to back to back to back to back, which is a lot of deep work, a lot of apt and listening, you know, a lot of really being in touch.

[00:19:19] [SPEAKER_00]: And I could remember coming out of the room and my husband being like, are you OK?

[00:19:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Like, what do I need?

[00:19:27] [SPEAKER_00]: And I was jazzed.

[00:19:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I was floating because I just knew that I had made a difference in seven people's lives.

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_00]: And that filled me up so completely.

[00:19:38] [SPEAKER_00]: So doing the actual work.

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Because it's something I'm so connected to, and I know it's so much part of my passion and my purpose, it fills me back up.

[00:19:51] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's this beautiful cycle as I'm giving to them, they're giving back to me.

[00:19:55] [SPEAKER_00]: And that kind of keeps me going on the other side of things.

[00:19:59] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still a human.

[00:20:01] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still a wife.

[00:20:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still a daughter and still a sister.

[00:20:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still a mother.

[00:20:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still an entrepreneur.

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_00]: There's all sorts of external factors that sometimes can weigh me down.

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I'm subject to having doubts and having fears and having anxieties just like anyone else.

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_00]: So I make sure that I have a good group of a very close-knit group of support system that's around me that I can lean on when I need it,

[00:20:27] [SPEAKER_00]: when I can come to them and be like, you know, I need some help too.

[00:20:32] [SPEAKER_00]: And they're good at recognizing it because I'm not always good at asking for it.

[00:20:36] [SPEAKER_00]: It's something, it's the area of growth for me where I'm still working on asking for help and being able to receive it.

[00:20:43] [SPEAKER_00]: But they'll recognize certain signs and I've given them permission to give tough love when it's necessary.

[00:20:50] [SPEAKER_00]: But I go and I get regular massages.

[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I see an acupuncturist, which I absolutely love.

[00:20:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I was scared of needles for so long and was super resistant to going.

[00:21:02] [SPEAKER_00]: But since I kind of was like, big girl, I can do this.

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I put on my brave face and I went and did it.

[00:21:10] [SPEAKER_00]: And it was like, okay, I see why people like this.

[00:21:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And you know, but it was about trying it and finding it and seeing what are the right things that work for me.

[00:21:19] [SPEAKER_00]: And I think the other thing that really makes a difference and can't be overlooked is feng shui,

[00:21:26] [SPEAKER_00]: which coming from my engineering background, I was like, this is such a load of crap.

[00:21:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't believe in it at all for the longest time.

[00:21:36] [SPEAKER_00]: And again, I was resistant to it.

[00:21:39] [SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes you have to hear things different way for it to click and make sense.

[00:21:45] [SPEAKER_00]: And a coach that I was working with was working with Marie Diamond, who is a master feng shui practitioner.

[00:21:54] [SPEAKER_00]: She was in the movie The Secrets, which came out a couple of years ago and people really enjoy it.

[00:22:01] [SPEAKER_00]: And she was the feng shui person in that.

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_00]: So she's very well known.

[00:22:05] [SPEAKER_00]: And how listening to her describe feng shui clicked for me.

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, wow, okay, that makes so much sense.

[00:22:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And the thing that made the most sense for me when she described it is if you think about like all of the luck that you have in your life.

[00:22:24] [SPEAKER_00]: A third of it is the luck you make yourself, your hard work, your ethics, your drive, pieces of you.

[00:22:32] [SPEAKER_00]: A third of that is divine.

[00:22:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Whenever beliefs you ascribe to, it's something outside of your control.

[00:22:40] [SPEAKER_00]: And then the last third is your environment.

[00:22:43] [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, does that really make sense?

[00:22:45] [SPEAKER_00]: But feng shui actually means wind water.

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_00]: And it was from the ancient Chinese farmers saying, hey, if we plant this rice here where it gets all the things that it needs, the right amount of sunlight, the right amount of water, the right amount of nutrients, it grows really, really well.

[00:23:01] [SPEAKER_00]: But if we plant it here where it's not getting everything it needs, it grows but it's much more stunted.

[00:23:07] [SPEAKER_01]: So having the environment that you're in have a higher degree of potential success based on the environment itself.

[00:23:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. So I make sure that the office that I'm in is optimized for my personal feng shui so that helps just being in a good environment.

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm sure there's been places where you've walked in someplace that it just like, just doesn't feel good.

[00:23:36] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and you're just like, I don't know what it is about this place, but it's just, it's not right for me.

[00:23:41] [SPEAKER_00]: And other places you walk into and you're just, this feels amazing.

[00:23:45] [SPEAKER_00]: And again, it's not anything conscious that we're aware of.

[00:23:48] [SPEAKER_00]: It's just these feelings.

[00:23:49] [SPEAKER_00]: And that's really tapping into feng shui and making the environment work for you.

[00:23:53] [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not constantly having to battle that as well because that would run me down really fast.

[00:23:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so we're going to kind of wrap up on one topic because you brought it up and I kind of want to just explore it for a little bit before we call it a day and move on to another conversation.

[00:24:14] [SPEAKER_01]: But you mentioned divine and spiritual, right?

[00:24:18] [SPEAKER_01]: And so how does the conventional Judeo-Christian religious spiritual person connect with this to where it does not seem outside of their religious beliefs?

[00:24:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's one for every individual to assess for themselves.

[00:24:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I will never push any sort of religion or spirituality on anyone.

[00:24:45] [SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, I've had clients that they outwardly say that they don't believe in God.

[00:24:52] [SPEAKER_00]: And as we dug deeper, it was more that they were really angry with God for things that happened in their lives.

[00:25:00] [SPEAKER_00]: And yet I was still in good fit for them as we went through and worked through it together.

[00:25:07] [SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, God can mean anything, but it's just that something greater is out there, that there is some sort of design to how nature works and the beauty of being able to see the different patterns that exist in nature.

[00:25:27] [SPEAKER_00]: And all of the incredible system in which we live.

[00:25:34] [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's really just tapping into that.

[00:25:37] [SPEAKER_00]: And the place where it gets the most sticky for people is when it comes to astrology.

[00:25:43] [SPEAKER_00]: And that's where I have the most Judeo-Christians push back on it.

[00:25:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Like, how could it possibly matter when I was born?

[00:25:53] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, or where the planets are?

[00:25:57] [SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, again, not going to force anything.

[00:26:01] [SPEAKER_00]: It's just what I say to them is this is just another thing that we can look at to give us more insight and clarity.

[00:26:08] [SPEAKER_00]: We're not ever saying that, you know, a horoscope that says you're going to have a great day today or a bad day today has any meaning other than what we ascribe it.

[00:26:18] [SPEAKER_00]: It's just giving us greater insight and clarity.

[00:26:20] [SPEAKER_00]: But the thing that means the most to me is if we believe that God, creator, created the earth, where do those other planets come from?

[00:26:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Who created them?

[00:26:34] [SPEAKER_00]: And would God create something that didn't matter and didn't mean anything?

[00:26:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Because the more we study just our own ecosystem, there's always interconnectedness and there's always some sort of connection, even if we don't understand it at the time.

[00:26:48] [SPEAKER_00]: So my thought is, I'm not saying I know everything, but I know these things exist and they're out there.

[00:26:55] [SPEAKER_00]: If it can teach us something and make our lives better, what's the harm?

[00:27:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Fair enough. So listen, from one sister to another, I thank you so much for your wisdom on this.

[00:27:09] [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, I think that even some guys out there might be able to learn something from this, although men just don't listen, as you know.

[00:27:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I do have a few male clients.

[00:27:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Just to be clear about that, it's just my heart is more to helping women.

[00:27:26] [SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's probably coming from engineering.

[00:27:29] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I was in a male-dominated society and there was your culture.

[00:27:35] [SPEAKER_00]: And just seeing the differences between that and knowing that I needed more support in other ways kind of just opened my heart more to wanting to help women.

[00:27:44] [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm here to help whoever needs my help.

[00:27:47] [SPEAKER_01]: But would you put a male client who identifies as a female client in the same room as a female client like they do in prison?

[00:27:55] [SPEAKER_00]: No, no. There's...

[00:27:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, there you go, you big xenophobe. Interview is over.

[00:28:02] [SPEAKER_00]: No, and it's because of the sort of space that needs to be created for people to heal during a retreat.

[00:28:11] [SPEAKER_01]: You mean respecting individuals' space and privacy.

[00:28:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, there's a piece to that.

[00:28:17] [SPEAKER_00]: And do you know what? I do have it on my mind to do some couples retreats.

[00:28:22] [SPEAKER_01]: That sounds like an idea.

[00:28:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think that would be...

[00:28:25] [SPEAKER_01]: Or those are the truth.

[00:28:26] [SPEAKER_00]: I think that could be really, really useful as well.

[00:28:30] [SPEAKER_00]: So I think that's coming.

[00:28:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still working on my skill set to be what men need or finding the right male partner to lead that piece of it as well.

[00:28:39] [SPEAKER_00]: But it's definitely on the horizon.

[00:28:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Excellent. Well, listen, we are coming to the close of this interview.

[00:28:47] [SPEAKER_01]: Would you mind just letting the audience know how they could find you, look you up, connect with you, pay you money for your services and follow you?

[00:28:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely. So the website is optimizedwe.com.

[00:29:02] [SPEAKER_00]: And I am on LinkedIn, Facebook, TikTok, Instagram.

[00:29:07] [SPEAKER_00]: You can find me on all of those different places.

[00:29:10] [SPEAKER_00]: The TikTok is really just about my life.

[00:29:13] [SPEAKER_00]: So sometimes there's things that I have on my mind that I talk about.

[00:29:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Other times it's silly videos of my dogs or my chickens or my kid.

[00:29:21] [SPEAKER_00]: So it's really just kind of the behind the scenes of my life.

[00:29:25] [SPEAKER_00]: The LinkedIn is the more professional one, of course, because that's the kind of platform it is.

[00:29:30] [SPEAKER_00]: And so coming from a corporate space of how that works.

[00:29:34] [SPEAKER_00]: And then the Instagram and Facebook are more on the spiritual side.

[00:29:38] [SPEAKER_00]: So it's kind of more of the softer piece of it, the more introspective parts of me.

[00:29:45] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you again so much for joining us.

[00:29:47] [SPEAKER_01]: And I look forward to coming to dinner at some point as a couple's retreat and not eating your chickens.